Chocolate Crush Cookies

There it is again. That feeling. The “oh no.” The “can it possibly be?” That dreaded, “dammit – I like someone.”

I don’t want to say “when you’re in your 20s…” because your 20s are most definitely different than my 20s, and her 20s and his 20s, whoever’s 20s.

So I’ll say in MY 20s developing crushes has become more of an inconvenience versus a school girl joy.

Especially at 27, just shy of 30, I’ve had to navigate this crush game with considerations. Where do I see this going? Where do I want this to go? Do I have time to nurse this? What does he expect? What do I expect? Is he going to steal my furniture?

Even so, here I am completely crushing.

This guy is a friend of a friend – always a good start. We met once at her apartment and then again at a 90’s movie-themed going away party. HIS 90’s movie-themed going away party, during which I was encouraged by my boozed up bravado and Cher Horowitz costume to stick my tongue down his throat in a moment of YOMOO. Don’t know it? As if! It’s my dillusioned belief that “You’ll Only Make Out Once” and then you both move on. Paths crossed, tongues tangoed, on to the next one.

But that didn’t happen – this guy stuck. Maybe it was his unapologetic nerdiness that I liked, the fact that he seems to know everything about everything. Maybe it was his brown eyes and Marty McFly costume, but more likely it was his proclamations of “you’re so hot” and the firmness with which he gripped my Clueless clad butt at the party that really piqued my interest. Oh hush – you know you love it too.

Fast forward a week and this guy I thought I would only YOMOO and go with, this guy I knew was leaving, this guy I was convinced was temporary, is sitting in my apartment on a Sunday night kissing my neck as we watch Game of Thrones.

How did he get here? Why am I already comfortable enough to wear glasses and sweats around him? Are we really drinking milk and eating these dank Double Chocolate Chip Cookies I made while talking about our (separate) futures? What the hell is going on here?

I can’t be sure. Sometimes when he leaves I am consumed with questions – many variations of “what does this mean?” Other times, I sleep like a baby knowing I’ve got a guy who likes to stand behind me and do a little under-the-shirt-over-the-bra action while I transfer fresh baked cookies to their place of final cooling.

Maybe we’ll never know or maybe when he leaves for LA we’ll figure it out – that is, if anything needs to be figured out.  In the meantime (actually in the space of writing this post), I’ve decided that at the end of the day it’s good enough to have crushed and cookied, even if only briefly.

Get those ingredients out folks!

Mix together the dry!

In another bowl, whisk together the sugar and the melted butter.

Add the egg.

Add the vanilla – I never measure….

Stir in the dry.

Be careful not to over mix – but make sure there are no dry pockets. Look at that batter – it’s like velvet.

Add a literal junk ton of chocolate chips.

I could have eaten this whole bowl as is… but a dude was over so I controlled myself.

Mounds! Place heaping mounds of dough on a cookie sheet lined with a silpat or parchment.

Place in the preheated oven and bake for 8 – 10 minutes. 8 if you like your cookies gooey, 10 if you like ’em cakey.

Let cool for 5 minutes on the cookie tray then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

I recommend a tall glass of 2% and a handsome man to split with.